#feeling some type of way about all the shannon i keep seeing on my dash

[alchemistc]

Eddie tips his beer against his lips, fights the smile turning up the corners of his mouth as Mara and Jee each cling to one of Buck's arms, the both of them screaming to their hearts content. It's - loud, and Buck isn't doing anything to temper the noise, growling out one of his Roledex of monster noises, lifting one arm and then the other like some bastardized workout routine.

Beside him, Tommy sighs.

It's a familiar sound, at this point. Tommy is so fucking full of love, and Eddie knows he's spent a long ass time looking for a place to put it. He can't think of a person better prepared to take the bulk of it on than Evan Buckley.

"I cannot handle your lovelorn sighs, dude. You got the guy, you don't need to act like some regency hero watching from the sidelines."

Tommy eyes the neck of Eddie's bottle like he's thinking about punishing Eddie for the comment with a beer tap, so Eddie shifts it out of his reach - he's in no mood for another lesson on the physics of cavitation from Buck while he's cleaning foam off the patio and trying to prevent Jee from lapping it up like a dog.

Denny's too old for most of the horseplay, now, but there's something about Buck that makes kids unafraid to act like kids - he takes a flying leap and gets an arm around Buck's neck, and now he's somehow hauling three of them around with one of those wide, uncareful smiles Eddie's always been a bit jealous of.

Tommy's chest expands, and Eddie can feel his lips pursing, his eyes rolling to the side in warning. Tommy blows the breath out through his nose and scowls.

"I knew Shannon was it for me after our first date," Eddie says into the silence, shocking himself with the ease her name slides past his lips. He hasn't - he doesn't - Christ, even thinking her name sets him back sometimes. But this feels - it feels like the only memory pertinent to the situation.

Tommy's pretty good at keeping a straight face when he's feeling big things - decades of practice, Eddie knows, and he's aware that Tommy has spent another ten years unpacking that, forcing himself to wear his heart on his sleeve. Still. It seems easiest when it's Buck, and Eddie can't fault him that.

"She was such an asshole," Eddie continues, fond, while Tommy's gaze shifts to him, careful, concentrated, that special blend of steady eye contact and a stilling of his body that lets people know he's really listening, retaining, will be able to recite word for word something personal someone told him about themselves. "Even then, even as young as we were, I just wanted to share everything with her. Jokes, and stories about my day - happiness and sadness and... life, you know?"

Tommy swallows. His gaze shifts in the quiet of Eddie's confession, unerringly returning to Buck. Eddie's watched plenty of women in love with Buck looking at him. It's never been that look.

The one Eddie'd clocked months ago, a subtle shift from smitten to in love to something else. Something more.

In the grass, Buck levers himself to his knees and begs for mercy, and nearly takes a knee to the groin for his surrender.

Tommy's chest expands.

"You measured his ring size while he's passed out coming off an extra shift, yet?" (Buck has. Eddie's been fielding a fucking deluge of links in his messages, at least a hundred different rings at this point that look identical to Eddie but Buck apparently has half a million opinions about that he seems to think Eddie can help him with.)

Tommy doesn't give him time to react, this time. The bottom of his bottle hits the top of Eddie's and Eddie scrambles too late, foam spilling along the sides, over his fingers. The patio rug soaks up the liquid as it spills over his fingers, but Tommy seems to think the hassle of cleaning off his brand new patio is worth it, if the smirk on his face is anything to go by.

"I'm going to go rescue my boyfriend before Jee-Yun decides hearing Evan howl in real pain is her new favorite hobby."

Eddie's beer is still foaming, a steady trickle up the neck and down the side, right over his fingers, dripping to the rug beneath his feet. He'll need to go inside and wash his hands soon, maybe rearrange Tommy's tea drawer while he's in there - it's the only thing safe from Buck's wrath in that kitchen. "Get me another beer while you're up," Eddie snarks back, and leans back to watch the way Buck's eyes gleam when, instead of rescuing Buck, Jee and Mara both take aim at Tommy instead, and Tommy's swings them both up into the air while they screech in delight.

[holdmygum]

Incubus Eddie please

i thiiiiink this was from the tag game to talk about my wips? which i apparently didn't tag to be able to find it again myself so jokes on me there

anyway, this fic came to me in a dream while i was visiting my bestie, so she found me in the morning hunched over my laptop furiously typing up an outline

basically, it's a little fun canon re-write where eddie is an incubus and buck is a sex worker who is familiar in dealing with the supernatural. after shannon dies eddie is essentially starving himself because he doesn't really enjoy casual sex and doesn't find it filling, but also isn't really ready for a relationship. buck gets reccommended to him as a solution and they have sex and then fall in lurve yay :) (there's more to it than that but you get it.)

who knows when/if it will ever be done, but have a snippet! under a read more so i don't clog dashes oop

“Hi, I’m Buck. You must be Eddie,” and Eddie feels the sparks between them, can almost see the potential for their sexual chemistry in the air when he shakes Buck’s hand.

“Yeah, it’s, uh, nice to meet you.” Eddie licks his lips, watching as Buck blows softly on his coffee before taking a sip. 

“So I guess I can give you my little spiel. Obviously, you know what I do, or you wouldn’t have called me. I get tested about once a month, and I’m happy to show you those results any time. I don’t ever let anyone fuck me bare, but I’m willing to negotiate oral without barriers if you get tested as well. I like to keep things open and communicative. I find that’s the best way to do this, so I tend to check in with clients a lot to make sure everything is still working. I don’t mind some light play, but any hard kink needs to be negotiated beforehand and costs extra. Chim uh, told me your situation is…unique. I know a little bit about those, and you can tell me as much or as little as you want about it. I just want to make sure you get what you need out of this, satisfaction is my business after all. I’m also very discreet, should we ever run into each other in public I’ll pretend not to know you. No one will ever know about this arrangement from my end.”

Eddie has spent his entire life since adolescence having frank conversations about sex out of necessity, but the way Buck so nonchalantly goes through the details of what he does while sipping coffee shocks him a little. He supposes when you make your money by having sex, it probably becomes more of a business transaction than anything else. 

“So,” Buck asks, “what can I do for you?”

[cover2covermom]

Goodbye April & hello May!

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel & I’m running toward it…

April seemed to drag on despite the days flying by.  Does that even make sense?  Like I’ve mentioned before, my days are filled with homeschooling, home projects, mask making, and reading.  I’ve been doing my best to fill my hours to ease the COVID-19 anxiety.

I received the notification that I will be returning to work next week, which was welcome news.  I’m ready to get back a little bit of normalcy in my life.  Thankfully, our library system is reopening in phases.  Our first phase will be employees only (3-5 employees in the building at one time) and offering curb-side service to our patrons.  As of now, we will not open our doors to the public until June 1st at the earliest.  At that point in time, we will be limiting the number of patrons allowed in the building.  It is definitely going to be a learning curve to see what my new work normal is going to entail.  I’m looking forward to adapting & rising to the occasion.

» Be Not Far From Me by Mindy McGinnis

As per usual, Mindy McGinnis puts out another harrowing YA book.  I love survival stories, so I enjoyed this story about a girl that has gotten lost in the woods.  Be Not Far From Me was uncomfortable to read at certain points.

» Here in the Real World by Sara Pennypacker

*3.5 Stars*

This was a sweet story about two kids that form a friendship while hanging around an abandoned lot.  The first half of this book didn’t grab me and moved far too slowly.  I enjoyed the second half of this book a lot better than the first half.

» Keeper of Lost Cities (Keeper of the Lost Cities #1) by Shannon Messenger

An awesome MG fantasy!  I cannot wait to continue on with this series.  I’d recommend this to fans of Harry Potter.

» Separation Anxiety by Laura Zigman

*2.75 Stars*

I read this for one of my book clubs.   I think the author was attempting to write a book that would charm readers with eccentric characters & a humorous plotline, but don’t think it delivered.  Instead of being funny, the story felt odd & forced.

» A Wolf Called Wander by Rosanne Parry

I think the author did a tremendous job writing a book from a wolf’s perspective.  You can tell the author did extensive research into wolves & their behaviors.  While I think this animal perspective was very well done, I didn’t think the plotline was all that entertaining.

» The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (Oz #1) by L. Frank Baum

I’ve decided to challenge myself to read more children’s classics in 2020.   To kick start this challenge, I started with The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  This was a delightful read!  I was surprised to learn that the slippers were actually silver instead of ruby red… mind blown!

» SHOUT by Laurie Halse Anderson

This is a must read for fans of Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak.  While you don’t HAVE to read Speak to read SHOUT, I feel like it makes a bigger impact if you read Speak prior to this.  If you didn’t know, SHOUT is Anderson’s memoir told in verse.

» Loveboat, Taipei (Loveboat, Taipei #1) by Abigail Hing Wen

*4.5 Stars*

This is a guilty pleasure type of read.  Actually, it reminded me a bit of Crazy Rich Asians a bit.  It is a tad racy for a YA book… So I’d probably recommend for older YA readers that are 16+

» Exile (Keeper of the Lost Cities #2) by Shannon Messenger

I am LOVING this MG fantasy series.  While these books are a bit chunky, don’t let the page count deter you.  I flew through the first two books in this series this month.  Also, I’m happy to report that this second installment does NOT suffer from “second book syndrome.”

» Nooks & Crannies by Jessica Lawson

Nooks & Crannies is an excellent MG historical mystery.  Some of the elements of this story gave me Matilda mixed with A Series of Unfortunate Events vibes.  The audiobook is well narrated.

» The Penderwicks (The Penderwicks #1) by Jeanne Birdsall

This is the perfect book to pick up during the summer months.  It really gave me modern Little Women crossed with The Secret Garden vibes.  The ending was so heartwarming it almost brought me to tears.

Goodreads Challenge Update: 46 books!

*I know it says 47, but I finished The Last (Endling #1) on May 1st*

March 2020 Reading & Blogging Wrap-Up

April 2020 TBR

Childhood Classics 2020: TBR

Most Anticipated Books of 2020 (May – December)

Mini Book Reviews: April 2020 – Part 1

Mini Book Reviews: April 2020 – Part 2

If you were ever curious what a bookworm’s quarantine stress shopping spree looks like, here you go…

» The Guinevere Deception (Camelot Rising #1) by Kiersten White

There was nothing in the world as magical and terrifying as a girl.

Princess Guinevere has come to Camelot to wed a stranger: the charismatic King Arthur. With magic clawing at the kingdom’s borders, the great wizard Merlin conjured a solution–send in Guinevere to be Arthur’s wife . . . and his protector from those who want to see the young king’s idyllic city fail. The catch? Guinevere’s real name–and her true identity–is a secret. She is a changeling, a girl who has given up everything to protect Camelot.

To keep Arthur safe, Guinevere must navigate a court in which the old–including Arthur’s own family–demand things continue as they have been, and the new–those drawn by the dream of Camelot–fight for a better way to live. And always, in the green hearts of forests and the black depths of lakes, magic lies in wait to reclaim the land. Arthur’s knights believe they are strong enough to face any threat, but Guinevere knows it will take more than swords to keep Camelot free.

Deadly jousts, duplicitous knights, and forbidden romances are nothing compared to the greatest threat of all: the girl with the long black hair, riding on horseback through the dark woods toward Arthur. Because when your whole existence is a lie, how can you trust even yourself?

» Song for a Whale by Lynne Kelly

The story of a deaf girl’s connection to a whale whose song can’t be heard by his species, and the journey she takes to help him.

From fixing the class computer to repairing old radios, twelve-year-old Iris is a tech genius. But she’s the only deaf person in her school, so people often treat her like she’s not very smart. If you’ve ever felt like no one was listening to you, then you know how hard that can be.

When she learns about Blue 55, a real whale who is unable to speak to other whales, Iris understands how he must feel. Then she has an idea: she should invent a way to “sing” to him! But he’s three thousand miles away. How will she play her song for him?

» Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik

Miryem is the daughter and granddaughter of moneylenders, but her father’s inability to collect his debts has left his family on the edge of poverty–until Miryem takes matters into her own hands. Hardening her heart, the young woman sets out to claim what is owed and soon gains a reputation for being able to turn silver into gold.

When an ill-advised boast draws the attention of the king of the Staryk–grim fey creatures who seem more ice than flesh–Miryem’s fate, and that of two kingdoms, will be forever altered. Set an impossible challenge by the nameless king, Miryem unwittingly spins a web that draws in a peasant girl, Wanda, and the unhappy daughter of a local lord who plots to wed his child to the dashing young tsar.

But Tsar Mirnatius is not what he seems. And the secret he hides threatens to consume the lands of humans and Staryk alike. Torn between deadly choices, Miryem and her two unlikely allies embark on a desperate quest that will take them to the limits of sacrifice, power, and love.

Channeling the vibrant heart of myth and fairy tale, Spinning Silver weaves a multilayered, magical tapestry that readers will want to return to again and again.

» Girls Like Us by Randi Pink

Set in the summer of 1972, this moving YA historical novel is narrated by teen girls from different backgrounds with one thing in common: Each girl is dealing with pregnancy. Four teenage girls. Four different stories. What they all have in common is that they’re dealing with unplanned pregnancies.

In rural Georgia, Izella is wise beyond her years, but burdened with the responsibility of her older sister, Ola, who has found out she’s pregnant. Their young neighbor, Missippi, is also pregnant, but doesn’t fully understand the extent of her predicament. When her father sends her to Chicago to give birth, she meets the final narrator, Susan, who is white and the daughter of an anti-choice senator.

Randi Pink masterfully weaves four lives into a larger story – as timely as ever – about a woman’s right to choose her future.

» The Island of the Sea Women by Lisa See

Set on the Korean island of Jeju, The Island of Sea Women follows Mi-ja and Young-sook, two girls from very different backgrounds, as they begin working in the sea with their village’s all-female diving collective. Over many decades—through the Japanese colonialism of the 1930s and 1940s, World War II, the Korean War, and the era of cellphones and wet suits for the women divers—Mi-ja and Young-sook develop the closest of bonds. Nevertheless, their differences are impossible to ignore: Mi-ja is the daughter of a Japanese collaborator, forever marking her, and Young-sook was born into a long line of haenyeo and will inherit her mother’s position leading the divers. After hundreds of dives and years of friendship, forces outside their control will push their relationship to the breaking point.

This beautiful, thoughtful novel illuminates a unique and unforgettable culture, one where the women are in charge, engaging in dangerous physical work, and the men take care of the children. A classic Lisa See story—one of women’s friendships and the larger forces that shape them—The Island of Sea Women introduces readers to the fierce female divers of Jeju Island and the dramatic history that shaped their lives.

» The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf

A music-loving teen with OCD does everything she can to find her way back to her mother during the historic race riots in 1969 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, in this heart-pounding literary debut.

Melati Ahmad looks like your typical moviegoing, Beatles-obsessed sixteen-year-old. Unlike most other sixteen-year-olds though, Mel also believes that she harbors a djinn inside her, one who threatens her with horrific images of her mother’s death unless she adheres to an elaborate ritual of counting and tapping to keep him satisfied.

But there are things that Melati can’t protect her mother from. On the evening of May 13th, 1969, racial tensions in her home city of Kuala Lumpur boil over. The Chinese and Malays are at war, and Mel and her mother become separated by a city in flames.

With a 24-hour curfew in place and all lines of communication down, it will take the help of a Chinese boy named Vincent and all of the courage and grit in Melati’s arsenal to overcome the violence on the streets, her own prejudices, and her djinn’s surging power to make it back to the one person she can’t risk losing.

» Escape from Aleppo by N.H. Senzai

Nadia’s family is forced to flee their home in Aleppo, Syria, when the Arab Spring sparks a civil war in this timely coming-of-age novel from award-winning author N.H. Senzai.

Silver and gold balloons. A birthday cake covered in pink roses. A new dress.

Nadia stands at the center of attention in her parents’ elegant dining room. This is the best day of my life, she thinks. Everyone is about to sing “Happy Birthday,” when her uncle calls from the living room, “Baba, brothers, you need to see this.” Reluctantly, she follows her family into the other room. On TV, a reporter stands near an overturned vegetable cart on a dusty street. Beside it is a mound of smoldering ashes. The reporter explains that a vegetable vendor in the city of Tunis burned himself alive, protesting corrupt government officials who have been harassing his business. Nadia frowns.

It is December 17, 2010: Nadia’s twelfth birthday and the beginning of the Arab Spring. Soon anti-government protests erupt across the Middle East and, one by one, countries are thrown into turmoil. As civil war flares in Syria and bombs fall across Nadia’s home city of Aleppo, her family decides to flee to safety. Inspired by current events, this novel sheds light on the complicated situation in Syria that has led to an international refugee crisis, and tells the story of one girl’s journey to safety.

» The Two Princesses of Bamarre (The Two Princesses of Bamarre #1) by Gail Carson Levine

Twelve-year-old Addie admires her older sister Meryl, who aspires to rid the kingdom of Bamarre of gryphons, specters, and ogres. Addie, on the other hand, is fearful even of spiders and depends on Meryl for courage and protection. Waving her sword Bloodbiter, the older girl declaims in the garden from the heroic epic of Drualt to a thrilled audience of Addie, their governess, and the young sorcerer Rhys.

But when Meryl falls ill with the dreaded Gray Death, Addie must gather her courage and set off alone on a quest to find the cure and save her beloved sister. Addie takes the seven-league boots and magic spyglass left to her by her mother and the enchanted tablecloth and cloak given to her by Rhys – along with a shy declaration of his love. She prevails in encounters with tricky specters (spiders too) and outwits a wickedly personable dragon in adventures touched with romance and a bittersweet ending.

» The Lost Kingdom of Bamarre (The Two Princesses of Bamarre 0.5) by Gail Carson Levine

In this compelling and thought-provoking fantasy set in the world of The Two Princesses of Bamarre, Newbery Honor-winning author Gail Carson Levine introduces a spirited heroine who must overcome deeply rooted prejudice—including her own—to heal her broken country.

Peregrine strives to be the Latki ideal—and to impress her parents: affectionate Lord Tove, who despises only the Bamarre, and stern Lady Klausine. Perry runs the fastest, speaks her mind, and doesn’t give much thought to the castle’s Bamarre servants, who she knows to be weak and cowardly. The Lakti always wage war, and the battlefield will give her the chance to show her valor.

But just as she’s about to join her father on the front lines, she is visited by the fairy Halina, who reveals that Perry isn’t Latki-born. She is a Bamarre. The fairy issues a daunting challenge: against the Lakti might, free her people from tyranny.

» A Crack in the Sea by H.M. Bouwman

An enchanting historical fantasy adventure perfect for fans of Thanhha Lai’s Newbery Honor-winning Inside Out and Back Again   No one comes to the Second World on purpose. The doorway between worlds opens only when least expected. The Raft King is desperate to change that by finding the doorway that will finally take him and the people of Raftworld back home. To do it, he needs Pip, a young boy with an incredible gift—he can speak to fish; and the Raft King is not above kidnapping to get what he wants. Pip’s sister Kinchen, though, is determined to rescue her brother and foil the Raft King’s plans.   This is but the first of three extraordinary stories that collide on the high seas of the Second World. The second story takes us back to the beginning: Venus and Swimmer are twins captured aboard a slave ship bound for Jamaica in 1781. They save themselves and others from a life of enslavement with a risky, magical plan—one that leads them from the shark-infested waters of the first world to the second. Pip and Kinchen will hear all about them before their own story is said and done. So will Thanh and his sister Sang, who we meet in 1976 on a small boat as they try to escape post-war Vietnam. But after a storm and a pirate attack, they’re not sure they’ll ever see shore again. What brings these three sets of siblings together on an adventure of a lifetime is a little magic, helpful sea monsters and that very special portal, A Crack in the Sea.

» The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin

A bizarre chain of events begins when sixteen unlikely people gather for the reading of Samuel W. Westing’s will. And though no one knows why the eccentric, game-loving millionaire has chosen a virtual stranger—and a possible murderer—to inherit his vast fortune, one thing’s for sure: Sam Westing may be dead … but that won’t stop him from playing one last game!

» Ballet Shoes (Shoes #1) by Noel Streatfeild

Pauline, Petrova and Posy are orphans determined to help out their new family by joining the Children’s Academy of Dancing and Stage Training. But when they vow to make a name for themselves, they have no idea it’s going to be such hard work! They launch themselves into the world of show business, complete with working papers, the glare of the spotlight, and practice, practice, practice! Pauline is destined for the movies. Posy is a born dancer. But practical Petrova finds she’d rather pilot a plane than perform a pirouette. Each girl must find the courage to follow her dream.

» Wishtree by Katherine Applegate

Trees can’t tell jokes, but they can certainly tell stories. . . .

Red is an oak tree who is many rings old. Red is the neighborhood “wishtree”—people write their wishes on pieces of cloth and tie them to Red’s branches. Along with her crow friend Bongo and other animals who seek refuge in Red’s hollows, this “wishtree” watches over the neighborhood.

You might say Red has seen it all. Until a new family moves in. Not everyone is welcoming, and Red’s experiences as a wishtree are more important than ever.

» The Library of Ever (The Library of Ever #1) by Zeno Alexander

With her parents off traveling the globe, Lenora is bored, bored, bored–until she discovers a secret doorway in the library and becomes its newly appointed Fourth Assistant Apprentice Librarian.

In her new job, Lenora finds herself helping future civilizations figure out the date, relocates lost penguins, uncovers the city with the longest name on Earth, and more in a quest to help patrons. But there are sinister forces at work that want to destroy all knowledge. To save the library, Lenora will have to test her limits and uncover secrets hidden among its shelves.

» Chains (Seeds of America #1) by Laurie Halse Anderson

As the Revolutionary War begins, thirteen-year-old Isabel wages her own fight…for freedom. Promised freedom upon the death of their owner, she and her sister, Ruth, in a cruel twist of fate become the property of a malicious New York City couple, the Locktons, who have no sympathy for the American Revolution and even less for Ruth and Isabel. When Isabel meets Curzon, a slave with ties to the Patriots, he encourages her to spy on her owners, who know details of British plans for invasion. She is reluctant at first, but when the unthinkable happens to Ruth, Isabel realizes her loyalty is available to the bidder who can provide her with freedom.

From acclaimed author Laurie Halse Anderson comes this compelling, impeccably researched novel that shows the lengths we can go to cast off our chains, both physical and spiritual.

» The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill

Every year, the people of the Protectorate leave a baby as an offering to the witch who lives in the forest. They hope this sacrifice will keep her from terrorizing their town. But the witch in the forest, Xan, is kind and gentle. She shares her home with a wise Swamp Monster named Glerk and a Perfectly Tiny Dragon, Fyrian. Xan rescues the abandoned children and deliver them to welcoming families on the other side of the forest, nourishing the babies with starlight on the journey.

One year, Xan accidentally feeds a baby moonlight instead of starlight, filling the ordinary child with extraordinary magic. Xan decides she must raise this enmagicked girl, whom she calls Luna, as her own. To keep young Luna safe from her own unwieldy power, Xan locks her magic deep inside her. When Luna approaches her thirteenth birthday, her magic begins to emerge on schedule–but Xan is far away. Meanwhile, a young man from the Protectorate is determined to free his people by killing the witch. Soon, it is up to Luna to protect those who have protected her–even if it means the end of the loving, safe world she’s always known.

The acclaimed author of The Witch’s Boy has created another epic coming-of-age fairy tale destined to become a modern classic. 

Which books did you read in April?

Have you read any of the books I read or hauled this month?  If so, what did you think?

Did you buy any books?  If so, which ones?

Comment below & let me know 🙂

April 2020 Reading & Blogging Wrap-Up + Book Haul #BookBlogger #Bookworm #Bibliophile #BookHaul #Reading #Books #WrapUp Goodbye April & hello May! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel & I'm running toward it...

[lolainblue]

Presque Vu -- Chapter 29

T/W: Smut

Tagging:  @msroxyblog @nikkitasevoli @maliciousalishious@meghan12151977 @fyeahproudglambert  @lady-grinning-soul-k @pheenixpeterson

   Raina was a mess Monday morning as she tried to get ready for work. Everything ached, and not in that tingly, pleasant way it had after their previous encounters, but actual hurt. The muscles in her arms that had strained against her bindings screamed when she lifted them in the shower, her bottom stung when the water hit it and every tender membrane seemed to be on fire. She didn't know if she was angrier at herself for not thinking things through or angrier at Jared for being right.

   The bruising on her neck wasn't nearly as bad as she thought it would be, and she wondered vaguely how long her health had been off. She couldn't remember the last time she had bounced back this quickly. She would still need a pashmina for a few days but it was nothing shocking. Cassie might even be able to cover it up for her.

   She downed a few Tylenol, grabbed some fruit from the refrigerator and headed into the studio. She passed the little vegetarian cafe that Jared had bought her breakfast from previously and on impulse, pulled into the lot. She was surprised at how normal the menu looked. Growing up on a farm she had somehow always imagined vegan and vegetarian food to be some exotic mishmash of tofu and weird vegetables she had never heard of, but these were mostly the same recipes she had grown up with, undoubtedly tweaked just a little bit. She saw the daily special was listed as vegan french toast with a cranberry compote and ordered it, along with some tea. The cashier that took her order was friendly and answered her questions about the recipes with an enthusiastic smile – apparently it was flour and something called nutritional yeast taking the place of the egg that was traditionally used in the preparation – and in a few minutes Raina was back in her car, with a container of yummy smelling breakfast on the seat next to her. This was one area she didn't mind admitting Jared had been correct about. Even if she was never going to learn to cook a thing she could still make better choices about what she was eating.

   Work was the same as always, although Val seemed a bit more relaxed than he had been the last month. She wished he would confide in her a little bit what was going on, but she realized how hypocritical that was of her. She never spoke of her personal life to him at all either, not even in the most general or guarded of ways. She got that it was work, but she wondered if maybe they weren't drawing the boundaries a bit too strictly. She doubted however that Val would be open to change and she certainly didn't want to aggravate him by telling him how to live his life.

   By the time she got back home for the day she was moving stiffly and the stairs to her apartment seemed to have increased eleven-fold. She started a warm bath before anything else, then poured herself a glass of wine. She heard the notification on her phone telling her there was a text waiting and she scooped it up and carried it with her. Once her bathtub had been turned into a bubbly, perfumed, candlelit oasis she set her wineglass down on the ledge and climbed in. The heat and the alcohol rapidly relaxed her tense muscles and she began to feel better right away.

   Once her glass of wine was finished she reached for her phone. Unsurprisingly the text was from Jared. “How was your day, Princess?” Raina smiled typed up her reply, “It was a typical Monday. I'm enjoying a glass of wine and a bath now,” she replied. He responded quickly, which told her he was finished with his day as well, and soon they had a conversation going.

  Raina chuckled at their ridiculousness. Neither one of them really knew how to give an inch, but they were growing more comfortable with that dynamic. It worked for them in a strange way. She took another drink of her wine before continuing.

  Raina shook her head, knowing where that question was leading. They were back to their old pattern of letting things devolve into sexual innuendo minutes into the conversation. This time she didn't mind as much but she hoped she had made it clear how tired and achy she was. She was formulating her reply when her phone rang, Jared's impatient nature obviously kicking into overdrive.

   “Yes sir, I am in the bathtub,” she greeted him.

   Jared laughed softly. “I'm sorry, baby girl. You should know by now how much I love to see you all wet and soapy.”

   “Do you want to see, sir?” she asked with a purr. Her body may have been exhausted and out of the fight but the arousal center in her brain awakened at the sound of Jared's voice.

   “You know I do. I will always want to see as much of you as I can. You are so beautiful,” he complimented.

   Raina could feel her cheeks heating. She had always felt just pretty enough, nothing special, nothing that got her any extra attention, but enough that she at least didn't get passed over. Jared and Shannon had a way of making her feel like a goddess, as if she were always the most beautiful woman in every room. She didn't really believe them, she was sure her appearance hadn't drastically changed in the time that she met them, but she appreciated the way they treated her. It was like living a pleasant fantasy. She chose to play along. Carefully she positioned herself underneath the bubbles, stretching out her torso and turning her waist for the most flattering look. Once she had snapped the pic she sent it to Jared, awaiting his response.

   “My God, baby girl, you just get more stunning every day,” he exhaled appreciatively when he received the image.

   “Thank you, sir,” she replied demurely. She could feel her mindset changing from her hectic day, and her focus began to fall to the dynamic between them. “I'm glad  you like it.”

   “Very much so,” he growled. “This tour is so close. I'm going to miss you so much while I'm gone.”

   Raina had been trying very hard not to think about Jared and Shannon's impending absence. It was bad enough she had let herself grow close to them, but now they were about to leave, and she was to be alone again just when she was realizing that alone wasn't a place she wanted to be anymore. “I'm going to miss you too,” she choked out and she knew Jared had to notice the warble in her voice.

   “Hey now, no need for that,” he chastised. “It's not for a while yet. And I was thinking maybe you could fly out and join us a few times, when your schedule allows. Would you like that?” He added the last part almost shyly, and Raina remembered that this vulnerability wasn't any easier for him than it was for her. He just put a braver face on it.

   “I'd actually like that a lot,” she confessed. She realized she had never really told Jared how much she had dreamed of traveling, or that that particular hope had been dashed along with her other dreams. “I've always wanted to travel, but I put it off for other things when I had the chance and doing that has been a big regret for me.”

   “Well after I introduce you to Emma I'll have her get with you to make arrangements. It's a European tour, so the flights will be long and you'll want to make sure you have enough time off to enjoy yourself. You can pick any of the cities you want, but Emma can show you which dates would be the least hectic for us.”

   Raina was relieved to know that their time apart would be tempered somewhat and excited at the prospect of seeing new places. Her mood lifted immediately. “It sounds amazing,” she gushed. “I can't wait.”

   “Well don't get too impatient,” Jared laughed. “It means we'll be gone and I won't get to hold that gorgeous body of yours as much as I want to.” Raina heard him sigh and close a door. “Let me see a little more of it. How about a nice shot of those fabulous tits of yours? Or I guess I should say mine now, shouldn't I Princess?”

   Raina rolled her eyes. Of course, the conversation had swung right back to sex. She was in a mood to indulge him, however. “Yes sir, they are. Just a moment.” She positioned herself again and snapped a quick selfie, making sure to give Jared the view he wanted.

   “Run your hand over them. The way I would if I were there,” he commanded.

   Raina sighed. At least they weren't as sore as the rest of her. She adjusted her bath tray and put Jared on speaker before placing the phone on its flat surface. Adding a little shower gel to her hands first she ran her palms over the wet skin, circling and kneading it just the way that Jared liked to. Her eyes closed and the edge of her lip caught behind her upper teeth. Despite her physical condition, she could feel things stirring in the pit of her stomach and it made the aches seem a little less.

   “Are you doing as I told you?” Jared's voice rang out in the steamy room.

   “Yes, Sir,” Raina murmured, hoping he wouldn't fail to notice the heavy tones of lust in her reply.

   “Good girl,” he told her. “Make sure you pay attention to those nipples. I want them hard as little jewels when you are done.”

   Raina kept her eyes closed and let her head fall back, It wasn't hard to imagine Jared here with her, not with his voice ringing out in the little room and the memory of lying against his chest in the big bathtub at his place. As she let the fantasy consume her her sighs and moans increased and her body began to tingle pleasantly. “They are ready for you Sir, just the way you like,” she offered. “I wish you were here with me. I wish I had that divine mouth of yours on them. I love the way you tease them.”

   Jared's voice was a honeyed growl when he replied. “And I love the way you whimper and moan when pull them between my teeth. I'd keep you in my bedroom at my private service all day every day if I could.”

   It was just a fantasy of course. She could never abandon her life so completely as to give her entire identity over to Jared. She knew that some couples did, that for them that was the optimal way to be in a relationship, but it wasn't for her. She suspected it wasn't for Jared either, in spite of his musings. It didn't hurt to fantasize, however, and she admitted the thought of spending days at his service, fulfilling his every whim did have a certain appeal to her. She didn't want to lose herself in submitting to him, but she wasn't sure how to find the balance she was looking for either.

   “Raina? Are you still with me, Princess?” Jared's dulcet tones pulled her back into the moment.

   “Yes, Sir. I'm sorry. I was just fantasizing about that suggestion.”

   “That's my girl. I knew you would like that,” he purred back. “Let's move one of those hands a little lower. Slide it down your stomach and to the inside of your thigh.”

   Anxiously Raina led her hand along the path he had prescribed. So much of her was tender now but she was dangerously close to the the most sensitive and abused parts. “Yes, Sir,” she exhaled, letting him know she had complied.

   “You sound tense, Raina,” he teased. “Are things a little sore there this evening?”

   “Yes Sir, you know that they are,”

   “And who got you into that situation baby girl?”

   “I did Sir”

   “So should I be denied use of what belongs to me because you made a bad decision?”

   “I....” Raina hesitated, her breathing rapid and shallow.

   “Answer me, Raina,”

   “No, sir,” Raina conceded.

   “Then I want those fingers on that pussy. You can be as gentle as you like but I want to hear you moan while you tease that tormented bud of yours.”

   Raina bit her lower lip before adjusting her hand and gliding it through the water and toward the aching flesh at her core. She hissed as her fingers brushed against her outer lips, but she didn't want to disobey Jared. Taking a few deep breaths she delved in between the folds, whimpering loudly when her fingertips connected with the sensitized bud of her clit.

   “Shhh, that's a good girl,” Jared murmured. “I just want you to remember that that is mine now. That means you'll touch it when I ask you to and only when I ask you to. You are not to touch yourself at any other time. Do you understand me, Raina?”

   Raina wondered briefly where that left Shannon in all this. But she understood a bit more clearly now that all of this exchange was an illusion. Jared would only ever have the power over her that she chose to give him, the control was a gift she ceded to him. What actually happened between Shannon and herself when Jared wasn't there wasn't the point. What he needed from her was that fantasy, that idea that he commanded her submission and devotion absolutely. She could pull the plug at any time, not just with a safe word but with every action. There was no need to lose herself. It was her that he wanted. He wanted her to be whole and strong and to give herself to him anyway. She desperately wanted that too, and she was becoming more and more comfortable with that each time she interacted with him. “I understand, Sir,” she finally replied.

   “Excellent. You may stop now,” he told her. Raina moved her hand away from her core and dried it off before picking her phone back up. “You're such a good girl,” he added.

   “Thank you, Sir,” Raina gushed. She was feeling warm and fuzzy, the bath and the wine mixing with the hormonal soup in her brain to give her a deep feeling of calm and happiness. “Would you like me to do anything else for you?”

   “No, that's fine. I just want you to finish your bath and get to bed nice and early. Get a good nights sleep for me baby girl.”

   “Good night, Jared,” Raina added wistfully before disconnecting the call.

   Once she had drained the bath and dressed in her pajamas she realized she hadn't eaten anything since lunch. As she popped into the kitchen for a quick bite she remembered that Wednesday was beer and pizza night with Cassie. She shot off a quick text inviting both Shannon and Jared to join her, figuring with their busy schedules she would do well to have even one of them show up. Then she made a quick sandwich, took a few more Tylenol, and climbed into bed.

[ekinneywrites-blog]

PSA: Clutter.

I’m feeling like I should address a couple of posts I’ve made recently, because I want to avoid any type of confusion: So, PLEASE READ THIS !

Recently, and also a month or so ago, I made a few posts about deleting the blogs of muses who I feel have “died.”

I know that seems harsh at a glance, but here’s why I do it;

Some of you already know this, but I have anxiety and a trait of my anxiety is that clutter triggers attacks for me. Usually it makes it very difficult for me to think, organize or stay focused. It will also make me angry or frustrated on occasion. I also have a pretty short attention span- because of these two things, I try to find ways to keep my blog as clutter free as possible. 

One of them is that I keep my muses as sideblogs. However, when that list of blogs appears to be getting too long, but nothing is happening on said blogs, I feel the urge/need to delete anything that seems unnecessary. Therefor, if it seems like a partner of mine has lost interest or “left,” I will wait about a month (it varies) before I delete the muse. 

B U T, I keep brief notes on all of my muses. That means if it so happens that a partner returns and wants to jump back into our plot (I realize real life is a thing and I expect you get out and go live it, baby!) I can put the muses’ blog right back together, and we can either start over, or from where we left off!

This’ll probably rub some people the wrong way, and I understand that and am truly sorry for it- but It’s just easier for me to get rid of things that aren't being used. It keeps me sane.

-Shannon, xoxo~

P.S.,  This applies to any type of clutter, or things that I deem as clutter. It’s why I examine blogs before I follow them (I prefer my dash be easy to scroll), it’s why I sometimes put my conversation/comments in tags (I don’t want my posts to get too long) and why I’ll suddenly get the urge to move to an entirely different main blog (too many likes/untagged posts stress me out)

Also, that short attention span I mentioned earlier? Sometimes you’ll see that I’ve forgotten that we’ve ever even plotted, please, feel free to just remind me. If you even suspect that I’ve forgotten; Remind. Me. I swear, I won’t be bothered. Chances are it slipped my mind and I require a nudge. I really just tend to forget to write these things down, but I’m working on it. I promise.

                                Thanks for Understanding                                                I Love You

                                                   ღ ❤️ ღ